My Lumberjack Life: Corin Evans
5/26/2020 7:00:00 PM | General, Women's Volleyball
The brain is powerful. It controls the effort you give, the standard you hold yourself to, the evaluation of a practice, and much more. It was my junior year of college when my brain felt involuntarily controlled and chained up by these negative thoughts. I was a slave to my every thought, and it hindered my performance and mental state drastically. I was a valuable part of my volleyball team freshman and sophomore year, but my junior year I fell to fourth-string, and was disappointed.
I felt forgotten, undervalued, and worst of all, naked and afraid when I was playing the sport I loved. I could not do anything right and found no joy in a sport that I was receiving a full ride scholarship in. I remember getting on my bike one day after practice and riding into the woods on a trail crying. I was crying because the sport I put everything into was not giving me what I thought I deserved.
The words coming out of my coaches' mouths were not affirmation that I needed to feel worthy. The thoughts in my head about the girls in front of me stemmed from bitter envy and selfish ambitions and in James 3:14-15 it says those ways are demonic. I was struggling to find purpose and worth in my sport.
One of my close friends told me about Ultimate Training Camp, a high intensity sports camp for athletes all over America. This camp teaches you how God, life, and sports are connected. I gained a biblical perspective on motivation and attitude that changed the way I looked at life and competition. At this camp God met me at my lowest point. On the outside nobody could tell I was struggling, but inside I was broken. He cleaned up my heart and showed me his grace, never ending love, and compassion for me and the people all around me. God gave me the affirmation I needed, the value that I have on this earth, and the purpose and plan set out before I was even born. He broke the chains that were in my head. The chains that were making me feel naked and afraid. I wasn't playing for my coaches' approval, attention from the media, but for an audience of one. I was playing for the Eternal King, The God Almighty, the maker of heaven and earth, and He loved me and found me worthy even when I had a bad practice. Jesus died on the cross so that I might have life in abundance. Through Jesus, God freed me from this world's expectation and my thoughts and clothed me in the love of Christ Jesus. There were no chains holding me down. I was now able to play fearlessly and free in the sport that I loved.
- C
